As it turns out some grim civilisation a very long time ago is said to have predicted the end of the world. How convenient it is then that they should all miss the big finish.
The media, for all its balanced and factual reporting, would like us to believe that this day is the 21st of December next year. That’s kind of a letdown, considering the christian version of the messiah has his birthday four days later. Although it would be suiting if on the third day all mankind would arise from the dead so that on christmas day we can all amass in celebration and then confucious would have his version of the apocalypse with babylon falling during the party.
Talk about creating equal opportunities.
This prediction begs some inspection since this nigh end is within our lifetime.
So what is one to do? Build a bunker in the basement or shuttle off into outer space perhaps. Maybe closing one’s eyes and reciting some revised incantations might offer salvation. Idol worship is another option, but the jealous, merciful and all-loving sentient being might smite thee before the grand end of days for doing that.
In any case what are the exact terms and conditions of this apocalypse? Are there any exceptions or loopholes, because what I understand of this particular prediction is that there is no magic sign that can be stamped on one’s forehead to exclude them from the final fireworks display when brains and bowels will explode into a thousand colourful pieces, depending on what your final meal was and what time of the day it is.
If all humans are going to die then no matter where you, uninhabitable 3d planet or parallel universe, you are doomed, unless, of course, you die prematurely and get reincarnated as a cockroach. If the earth is going to implode, then a space capsule might be a good investment. The bunkers might not be such a bright idea though. Actually no matter what form the end comes in – be it flood, fire or attack of the machines, clones and undead – an underground bunker is pretty much useless. Sure, it seems like a novel idea at first. Shopping for five hundred tins of baked beans and gas masks is pretty cool until the day of the apocalypse passes and you can’t afford to pay the bond for the house that your bunker is attached to.
Other endings are no prettier; one supposes that stars will fall (that’s other planets), the moon will disappear (so will the tide) and insects will have their day – so coming back as a cockroach or locust might not be such a terrible idea after all.
And if we believe in the big bang, should we really be expecting another bigger bang or maybe just a small fizzling out – if the universe can’t outdo its opening act. No big finish then?
And those righteous few who’ve led allegedly pure lives and whom we should do as they say, not as they do – what of them? Are they safe? After all we owe at least one death, unless you’ve been reborn a number of times. In that case you’ve worked up quite a bill.
Maybe, we’re all wrong. Instead we might go the way of the overgrown lizards and have an asteroid plunge us into an age of darkness, brimstone and sulphuric fires. Oh, how picturesque.
In any case, no one is impervious to death so, why stress and bicker when you can drink and be merry.
Namaste
